In the Maelstrom of Existence

"醉生梦死。醉生，就是在生的时候，好像喝醉酒似的，不知怎样生来。梦死，就是在死的时候，好像在作梦似的，不知怎样死去。人人皆在梦中，不知何日能清醒，所谓「人生如梦」，以假为真，为名为利，贪无止境。"

I close my eyes and dream,
a life thats on the brink,
people cheering on with drinks,
with laughter and songs to sing.
I ask them what it means?
They just continue to sing.
Amongst the songs and screams,
I can't comprehend the links.
I open my eyes and find,
a blank computer screen.
No one online it seems
I continue on with my dream.
~jozhade

People moving in life, learning what’s there to strive,
For food, for money, for sex, but not even once its for life.
What’s the world coming to?
Can’t they see its not true?
All the sweet promises are nothing but emptiness to you.
They talk about love,
They talk about truth,
They talk about ever after, ever lasting, ever with you.
But do you believe that it’s true?
Do you think it’s solely for you?
When reality kicks in, can you hold your sanity still?
They say they're going,
They say to you hey lets go,
but when the time comes for going, they say to you no, no, no.
What's up with the show?
Can't they see it hurts so?
Why can't they just be straight forward and say a clear yes or no.
I turn on the tv, watch some dramas and show,
I walk out to life, and see the same thing also.
What you see in the distance, what you see in the screen,
What's the difference between them, that I really don't know!
Well I think it is time, for me to walk out of life,
Walk into some forest, find some peace in my mind.
Coz I don't know what you're thinking,
And I don't care what's your reason.
Cheating is still cheating, and lying has no season.
I'm gonna move on in life,
I'm gonna move up high!
I'm gonna move all the way to heaven, unpack my bags in the sky.
Step by step slowly,
Do some good in life.
Maybe then I'll be happy,
And find my purpose in life.
~jozhade

Its the year two thousand and nine,
I'm turning to twenty five,
in less than a month's time,
one quarter of my life,
time passes by,
soon its out of sight,
blink of an eye,
its happening in the mind,
should I try and get high,
dance, dance thru the night,
or take off to the skies,
go, go, outside,
or look inside, living on hindsight
I'm moving like a mime,
humming out a rhyme,
breaking out of line,
no, its not a crime,
looking out for signs,
picking up a dime,
trying to live life,
I think I'll turn out fine.
~jozhade

I close my eyes
the music plays
the wind blows
the silence stays
I close my eyes
and open my heart
I feel the breeze
The music starts
~jozhade

I'm a product of an age desensitized.
Gone are the days of love and sacrifice.
Guided by my frozen heart, I walk my path,
Discarding the hopes and pains of the past.
~jozhade

I'm moving through life, trying to find myself,
looking for the answers that will satisfy my curious mind,
looking for the friends that will fill up the emptiness inside,
moving, moving, constantly moving,
like the current in a still pool of water,
movement in stillness, stillness in movement.
~jozhade

I close my eyes, and listen to the music in my head...
Without seeing, without smelling, without hearing, without touching...
Yet I still feel the world spinning round and round...
As the outer world slows down, the inner world speeds up.
Where does this feeling come from? Where does it go?
I'm walking blindly, in the journey of life...
Clinching on only to the belief, that everything will turn out fine...
~jozhade

Last year, I casually chatted with a friend to visit Nan Hua Monastery in June of 2009. Who would know that it actually happened.
Arrived at the temple of the Sixth Patriach today. We even brought our one and only remaining tortoise to set him free in the temple ponds.
It poured heavily along the way but upon our arrival, the rain lightened to a drizzle and stopped completely the moment we crossed the bridge into the monastery proper.
The body of the Sixth Patriach sits there ever peacefully over the centuries.
The tombs of Master Hsu Yun and Master Wei Yin over look the temple and the surrounding mountains.
We were even invited to have lunch with the monks.
On leaving, upon hitting the highway, the rain returned immediately...
Everything was as if according to a well coordinated plan...

Today i gained a wealth of experience just following my dad around.
Both him and his business partner spoke about their early struggles.
How they got cheated, how they waited 3 years for a customer, how they worked towards success.
Then we met one of the taiwanese supplier and he shared with us his experience as well!
How he managed his workers, how they ran off during work time to play and he went to catch them back.
One of them tried to fight and ended up losing, then he got his brothers to come and gang up but all got beaten up as well...

Management is not easy... but with determination, many things are possible.

There are many complicating things in life... step by step, we learn to walk and find our walk out of this jungle of samsara.

Sigh, my blogspot site is blocked in china! So unfair...

Anyway, trip to guangzhou has been pleasant so far...

Was alone in the factory today after everyone went home, and my dad who's on the way back from picking up his business partner, experienced a car break down on the highway, and as i was locking up the entire place when suddenly the lights all went off... the electric supply got cut and i was left there in the darkness in the middle of nowhere.... great....

other than that, checked out a few places.... 上下九廣場 is a great place for shopping! There's a night market there with food, clothes, everything. Things are cheap and pretty fashionable. Hua Ti Wan... not sure if thats right... is a crazy pets supermart... they sell everything from fishes to dogs and cats, to foxes, snakes, scorpions, salamanders, chipmunks, rare tortoises, baby crocodiles. Whatever you want, just let them know and they will get it for u. Then there's the wholesale market that'll only sell you the things if you buy them in the hundreds...

We also created a new mini-tank cabinet series in the few days that my dad was here.... Anyone wants fish tanks? We can design it for u... lolz

Alritez...

Why do people have to grow up?
Why must people make decisions?
About what to study, what to take as a career, who to love, who to settle down with, where to settle down, who to bring up, how many to bring up, who to die with, how to live, how to make money, how to enjoy life, how to retire, how to grow old, how to die...
Why must people grow old?
I'm so tired of growing up... so tired of making choices...
That's it!....
I'm transferring to Never never land to be with peter pan and gang!

有時候，錢不能解決一切的問題。
沒有了目的的我，就想一堆垃圾擺在地上，毫無用處
真希望能夠有個指點者，作為我的指南針
讓我了解這世存在有何意義

Sometimes, money cannot solve everything.
The self without a purpose, is like a piece of rubbish placed on the ground... totally useless.
How I wish there can be a guide to be my compass.
To understand what's the purpose of existance...

You can collect the waters all you want, but in that way you'll always be on the shore...
Its only when you take a dive into the water yourself, then will you know that the sea is actually salty...
~jozhade

A mist brews up ahead, my vision starts to blur...
The lonesome ship in the ocean slowly begins to stir...
A different wind blows, the compass spins around...
The journey that I set out for, is now again no more...
I searched for a land to anchor, a land to set ashore...
But searched the seas forever, alas I found no shore...
Where is my peaceful harbor? The fruit of all my labor?
I've spent nights upon nights, staring up in wonder...
I steer my lonesome ship, into the great blue sea...
Steering aimlessly, searching a path for me...
~jozhade

おれは、ずっとますぐあるいっている。
自分を解らさせるの人をさがしっている。
この世界にはその人をあるのか？
その人の存在全然ないかもしれないね。。。
しらいない。
ゆくりゆくりで疲れなりる。
でも、まだあげられる。
はやすぎる。
また、希望の心で、この凍るの町にあるいっている

我一直往前走著，尋找知己人
但這人是乏存在？我也無法知
漸漸疲勞爬進，但我還未放棄
時間還太早，我不能將此而沈
我還是往前走著，以存著希望的心
在這冰冷的路上，一直往前走

I keep on walking forward, seeking a fellow knowing peer,
But does this person exist? Perhaps I'm not so sure...
Gradually fatigue creeps up, but I'm not giving in.
My time is still too early for me to start to sink...
I keep on walking forward, on the frozen road,
Holding my lonesome heart, still filled with dreams and hope...

皆簡単に好き言うけど、人好きに習ってどういう事かな？
People say that they like each other so easily, but when people truly fall in love, what is it really like?

The relationship between people...
What keeps them strong?
What keeps makes them weak?
What do they bring?
What do they seek?
People come, people go...
Do I change? Or am I still the same?

時より、人ならうん事にで会うん人 、そして、 その存在、その意思、すがたを、特には、怖さ...けれど、こいつの世界を共有してたら、何にがこれまでとは違うふけがおれも見えってくるなき...
Sometimes, you meet people whom you will learn things from, about existence, about its meaning, its form and especially the terror it inspires... By choosing to share in their world, perhaps I'll be able to see sceneries different from those that I have already known...

But then again, sometimes when you have seen the world, you realize that there's really not that much of a difference.
I have searched, and I have seen... but still I continue seeking, the long and empty dream...

The most lonely kind of loneliness, is not being alone by yourself... but being amongst a crowd of people, and knowing that you're all alone...

守株待兔兔不來
反而遇到狀元才
狀元問我實何在
我笑狀元不實在

I am just a loafer, sitting by a tree.
Waiting for something to just come to me.
The thing I waited for didn't come, a scholar came instead.
The scholar asked me where does truth lies?
I laughed at the scholar for impracticality.